BADLY DRAWN MATCH REPORT #33 FULHAM vs MANCHESTER UNITED

We travel to Earth-2 in a parallel dimension to study the career of Philip Anthony Jones who just happened to have signed a new deal with United.

On Earth-2, Phil Jones is known as the greatest footballer who has ever lived. He's won the lot & is still on course to achieve a lot more.

Jones' story is feted in song, dance and cinema. He's not just a footballer, he's a full-on global industry.

On Earth-2 Jones' name is spoken in hushed, reverential tones. Fortunately there are some similarities between this world & Earth-2.

It almost seems too good to be true. On our earth Phil Jones started alongside Chris Smalling against Fulham & the pair had a rocky beginning to the game. Earth-2 Phil Jones wouldn't have had an issue though dealing with Mitrovic & co.

Phil Jones nearly caused Earth-1 to explode though by nearly scoring with a left-footed shot from the edge of the area. Still he ended up with an assist drawing him level with so-called creative talents. Goals from Pogba & Martial saw off Fulham & Utd are in the top 4.