BADLY DRAWN MATCH REPORT #18 SOUTHAMPTON vs MANCHESTER UNITED

Introducing "The Mourinho Virus"

The Mourinho Virus is a particularly virulent strain of football pathogens. It is harsh, biting and takes no prisoners in its quest to blame everything but itself.

It first operates by implanting suggestive thoughts into the prospective host's head.

Initially it seems to be a benign body capable of instilling it's host & those around them with a cautious sense of optimism.

Unfortunately for Manchester United, the club has been afflicted with the mutated version of the Mourinho Virus. As a result the usual second season title did not materialize.

This new strain of the virus is far more vicious & destructive quickly engulfing those around it with a sense of dread, doom & anger. The cash injection, a common treatment, has proved to be ineffective when dealing with the virus.

Generally, the virus is chased out of its host after overstaying its welcome but...

...this particular strain of The Mourinho Virus has adapted to ensure that its presence will be here to stay for longer than anyone would actually care for. By the by United drew 2-2 with relegation threatened Southampton.