BADLY DRAWN MATCH REPORT #17 MANCHESTER UNITED vs YOUNG BOYS

Enter Jose Mourinho - Bottle Slayer

Jose's lifelong hatred of bottles can be traced to a formative incident when he was a young boy. That moment haunts him to this very day.

Now you'd think that his focus would be on the CL match against Young Boys given United's less than stellar performances recently BUT his eyes were focused on his lifelong foe.

United created very few clear cut chances & spurned the ones they did create. The bottles were relentless in their ridicule of Jose.

In a last desperate bid to rescue his sanity erm the game Jose deployed the newly coiffed Marouane Fellaini to save his lackluster Manchester United side. Marouane obliged & Jose saw his opportunity to wreak vengeance.

So United are through to the knockout stage of the Champions League & Jose managed to capture the imagination by throwing some bottles on the floor. All is normal at Old Trafford, just don't mention the football.